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It's liked a type of sleep paralysis, though not the classic kind - which is when you awake and you can't move your body. The kind I experienced is that I'm trying to wake up from my dream or I've quit dreaming purposely and it feels like I'm trying to "pull" myself out of sleep. Sometimes when I feel I've almost "pulled" myself out of sleep, I "fall" back into the sleep. It feels like I'm slipping. It's such a strain to pull myself out of the sleep, only to fall back right at the precipice. At any rate, I have never been able to find anyone else who has it. Sleep paralysis - which sounds a little different - seems to be caused by bad sleep habits, insomnia and depression.
It seems pretty normal to you isn't it ?it's not like something big to make a fuss out of . No, it's something even more terrifying .
Unlike sleep paralys, I have the tendency to experience nightmare everytime this happens . It just kept happening everytime that in one point , I'm fully aware that I'm dreaming .
It's liked I'm living in my own nightmare , and the worst part is no matter how much I struggle to wake up , I Just can't break free . I just hopelessly crying out for help in my sleep .
Then I thought about lucid dreams,Could it be ? I don't know if there's a scientific term for this kind of sleep disorder that I'm facing . But it's too scary for me , it's like whatever I'm imagining turns into nightmare .. Last night , I had a dream that I was a little girl , and I was holding a lolipop , a pure and innocent image turn into a horror movie , my god ..
One time , I had a dream that a girl was holding onto a knife and at first I thought it was pretty normal and then the next thing I know , she start stabbing someone's eye over and over again ..it kept replaying and it seem so vivid like as if I was in the scene ..my natural instinct told me to run but I couldn't ...I was stuck and forced to see such awful thing right infront of my eye .. I forced myself to wake up but my tightly shut eyelid wouldn't barge , I was nearly conscious but my exhaustion brings me back ..I know my mind is awake , fortunately , such nightmares don't last long as I'm always aware of what's going on , and I just wait for my body to respond itself. And when I'm finally conscious , I blink a few times to make sure this is reality , I felt a sense of relieve . I was too scared to go to sleep,but I knew my exhaustion would bring me to sleep, so I hugged my Teddy bear tightly on my left arm, with my soft blankie covering my body , I made a turn facing the fan , and before I know it , I fell asleep again . Usually such nightmares happens 2 - 3 times per night . I've tried not to let my imagination run wild , but sometimes it just let loose of itself and nightmare occurs .
If anyone know what symptom is this , do let me know .
I'll write whatever I want , go ahead and judge me however you like BUT negative comments will not be tolerated :)