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His not the one

So recently, I've broke up with my boyfriend cause I found out he was sort of "cheating " on me and till now i'm still not over it. Honestly like as if seeing your bf with another girl wasn't bad enough, but acknowledging the fact that my bf doesn't give a single shit about our relationship at all makes me even sadder, to add on, she is way prettier than me, skinnier than me etc .. Knowing how my bf can "fall in love" so easily I knew that he already had his eyes on her , imagining your bf with another girl fucking struck me so hard .. though I kindof knew that we wouldn't last long but there's something about him that made me wanna give us a chance , now because of my selfishness, I've put myself into so much pain that could have been easily avoided in the first place . I don't think I did anything wrong..he just stop loving me and I can't do anything about it , I can't force him to like me , cause that's not how love works .

2 times we quarreled , and 2 times i give in to him . I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't even argued back because I cherish our relationship . I even put down my pride as a woman to make u stay . Something that every girl shouldn't be treated as, I give it to you . In the end what's every guys favorite phrase ? "I don't like you anymore" with that simple phrase , you can get out of explaining whole loads of bullshit into just one simple sentence . But one thing about me is , you don't play with my feelings, cause if you do , Í don't know what I'll do..I even thought of killing you . I know it seems like I'm all talk but no action but trust me , i'm capable of that . I can think of a way to make your death seems like an accident. People think I'm crazy , but nobody , NOBODY, FUCK WITH MY FEELINGS.

But after, I've calm down abit, I've started missing you instead. I miss texting you and I miss your scent , I miss a lot of things .

 The only comfort i can salvage from was the cat plushie that you gave me .