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2017 has come to an end and I'd thought now would be a good chance to summarize everything that has happen to me to fill up the time when I was MIA for 8 months.
(MIA: missing in action)
2017, was a fulfilling year for me. Despite the resolution goal I've set for myself at the start of the year to be a listless person , I've become someone who's pretty much the opposite of that, and for that, I've earned myself some new friends. My classmates are generally nice and I'm just thankful that this year wasn't as bad as I have anticipated.
Now, this is where things start to get a bit personal. If you read some of my previous entries, you should know that I don't usually talk about my personal life. Even if i did, It's probably just a scratch on the surface. I don't lead a deep and dark life and mask everything I blog, if that's what you're wondering. But having my thoughts lay out for the public to read is a pretty big thing for me so proceed reading with much consideration and do not ask me about it if i don't it bring up. (Pls bear with my grammar mistakes , I know its bad. )
The reason why I said that I anticipated this year to be a bad one was because I left my friends(that's another story) which lead me to due with everything by myself. I've became this bubbly girl who interacts with everyone to compensate my lack of friends. But sometimes, it wasn't enough. I often find myself getting anxious over the thought of pair works. I looked around me and I can't help but feel incredibly jealous. I was surrounded with friends yet I can't call them my own.
One day, I was send to a counsellor to fix myself, not that i have any major problems like self harm , suicidal thoughts , or anything too serious. But the school has a history of having student committing suicide this recently (he happens to be in the same stream as i as well) So with that, i was seen as someones who's vulnerable to his very fate. (Although I wouldn't try to kill myself this early of age) I wouldn't say that the counselling session has tremendously help me but it did let me get some stuff off my chest. I managed to pull through the year somehow.
I must say , 2017 was relatively a smooth journey ,other than having a few bumps on the road which occasionally led me astray, but at the same time I've grown to be a more independent person and it's honestly my greatest achievement so far considering how I've always been heavily relying on my friends. I'm also thankful for the people who have been accepting of me throughout the year, making me feel more at ease coming to school without feeling anxious.
I'll definitely miss my secondary school life, as well as the good and bad memories I've had. Bad memories, because they taught me a valuable lesson which will always come useful in the near future. Good memories, because they taught me to appreciate life and made me realized that my life isn't just an infinite plane of monotonous.
(I've never really got the habit of properly ending my blog post but I'll make an exception for this one)
This year would probably be a very special year for me and for most of my friends too, because it's finally that time of the year where we start a totally new year with new people in a new school. Though the idea of meeting new people sounds pretty tiresome to my introvert self. But It's a good change if you'd like to start over. I'll end my post here , and hopefully I'll be more active from now on.
I'll write whatever I want , go ahead and judge me however you like BUT negative comments will not be tolerated :)