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Poly life (?)
Soo school has begun, everything is going alright. 2 weeks into school and already i'm dealing with 5 assignments, yet my lazy ass refuses to move. I can't imagine how bad it will be once project starts kicking in and deadline starts drawing in, and then i'll just be stoning in front on my laptop , refusing to move while my whole life is spiraling down into nothingness and then i'll curl into a ball while having existential crisis, and i'll have a full blown mental break down about my grades
Honestly school has been pretty shit, my low self esteem and low confidence is depriving me from making any friends and i'll just be sitting alone as i watch everyone getting their own " best buds " and i'm just internally crying at the thought of being alone for another 3 more years. I mean, I'm slowly opening up but it's still kinda hard with the low self-esteem. Like how i can't bring myself to sit with people just because i think so lowly of myself . I kept thinking how "extra" i'll be and i just can't. Once in a while i get this urge to kill myself because sometimes the loneliness just swallows me up to the dark abyss. But i think, i might just get used to this loneliness...as always.
I'll write whatever I want , go ahead and judge me however you like BUT negative comments will not be tolerated :)